This is so fucking great can’t stop laughing
my friend left her window open in her bedroom and came back to find this
look at his self-satisfied little face, the cheeky shit
if there was a post to describe australia, this is it
you mean to tell me this isn’t even a pet bird?
that in australia, you have wild birds that just fly from house to house with the express purpose of fucking shit up?
fucking HELL australia, what is wrong with you?
wake up australia
That’s what birds do
They fly around and fuck shit up
Do you have some kind of mysterious nice birds in your weird foreign country
Do birds in America and England fly into your house and make the bed and tidy up the living room a little bit
It’s cold here, so they just bounce off the windows and lie there and twitch spasmodically while you look for the shovel.
Basically hurling themselves at windows is the worst thing birds do
yeah man a kookaburra literally flew into a classroom at my high school and just sat his smug ass down on top of the desk for a good 20 minutes
why has nobody mentioned the fact that in australia there are 3-4 months a year where everybody just accepts that they’re going to get attacked by magpies. It is literally called “swooping season” and these birds will fly down to peck your fucking face, and people get their eyes ripped out and shit, it’s fucking brutal.
My teacher had to go to hospital and have surgery because of swooping season. It was in the parking lot of school and all the kids would do a mad dash towards the car as the magpies tried to kill us.
no but when you’re 12 years old and riding your bike like mad on the way home from school with an icecream bucket on your head with like branches and shit sticking out if it to scare them off and none of this is considered strange
what the actual fuck australia
- teacher: you have a new classmate
- me: please for the love of god be a hot boy
u know someone is having a rough day when their favorite song plays and they don’t sing along
No one will understand how much this just broke my heart.
Me too ;-;
i’ve been drinking, i’ve been drinking
Oh watermelon, i love you HAVE MY BABIES *^*
*presses the button* *worships the button* *becomes the button*
enjoy your fictional characters you nerds
PRESS PRESS PRESS PRESS PRESS! Why isn’t it working? *Sobs* Why isn’t APH Prussia here?
pear-shaped women are the cutest things ever
the thing about being this shape that frustrates me most is that i’ve never found a pair of pants that were big enough for my ass, but tight enough to stay on without a belt
I agree with that pants dilemma, i have that same problem ;-;
- Fan fiction with fluff: Read in the corner of your bed with all the lights off at midnight while you giggle and blush
- Fan fiction with smut: Read in very public places or with family with a perfectly straight face
lol I changed what gay autocorrects to in my friends phone so he’ll stop using it as a derogatory term.
so i texted him pretending i was coming out of the closet and this is fantastic